Being Your Own Star!

by Gianna E. Israel
Copyright © 1996, all rights reserved.

I will be the first to admit it. I make a specific point to avoid watching the circus of television "talk shows" and other media featuring transgender persons and issues. Although I have a host of colleagues, clients and friends who keep me apprised of any production containing quality education or human interest material. For the most part, however, television shows, in particular seek little if any input from reputable transgender information sources and are poor representations of our community or needs. Rather, the majority contain nothing more than ill equipped attention seekers or highly biased "spokespersons." The end result being, transgender individuals and their activities are continually portrayed as dysfunctional, deviant and pathological. These reflections introduce the question, "what can transgender individuals do to help build positive community images?" Actually, there is plenty.

While crossdressers, transgender persons and transsexuals may lead different lives, all are capable of enhancing basic communication skills and effectively passing on positive information about transgender persons. While most individuals are not asked to participate in media representation, I encourage those that are to contact an established transgender organization and gain information from others familiar with media representation. Also, individuals wishing to get involved in media representation, can join a transgender "speaker bureau," which provide public speaking training. There individuals can learn to give effective presentations to schools, psychology students, law enforcement agencies, hospitals and other places needing information about transgender persons.

Not all individuals have the time or motivation to take part in speakers bureaus, and in practice even viewer will have an opportunity to appear on talk shows. This does not mean however that you are not a spokesperson. Whether you privately crossdress or live "in role," because you are a transgender person this means you also are a representative of our community. In some circumstances you may even be on "centre stage" and the star of your own show. Your choices in presentation and the way you communicate or "educate" about transgender issues have an effect in other person's perceptions of you and other transgender persons.

Every "Star needs good PR." The following pointers can help build your representation skills as a transgender person.

Anonymity

Yes, even closeted persons can take a role in public education without disclosing their transgender status or crossdressing needs. If you overhear or are involved in a conversation where transgender persons are being poorly portrayed, you can offer counterpoint information. Such as circumstances you have read in the newspaper or viewed on television. Various publications occasionally run "human interest" accounts of transgender persons, who may work as police officers, city legislators or even as Mayor.. Also, there are international celebrities such as "Tula" who starred in a James Bond movie. The point is to suggest that transgender people also lead quality lives and are not restricted to stereotypes. You do not have to talk about yourself, although offering counterpoints to anti-transgender conversations may provide you some clues into who might be supportive of your needs should you ever choose to disclose.

Presentation

If you are a person who ventures out in public crossdressed or lives "in role," your presentation plays a key role in how others perceive you. Your presentation will also reflect on how others view transgender persons in general. One concern many transgender individuals have, is whether they are "passing" in their assumed gender role. The fact is very few pass one-hundred percent of the time. Consequently the essential element in building a good outward image is not simply passing, but rather building a presentation that reflects confidence, self-esteem and pride. If you are going out for a night on the town, dress in attractive attire suited to the places you are visiting. On the other hand, dress in crisp, clean business attire if you have a job interview, public speaking engagement, or are going to appear on television.

Impressions

First impressions are lasting impressions. Nothing creates a poorer image than an attractive, well-presented person who acts rude, obnoxious, hostile or abusive toward others. Be polite, use phrases such as "please," "thank you," and "you are welcome" with sincerity when interacting with others. Nearly every day there are situations where you will create lasting first impressions as a spokesperson representing yourself and your community.

Communication

Developing and using effective communication tools are essential elements when representing yourself or others. If you are going to share your transgender identity with others, it first helps to have a good base of information about gender issues so that you can educate effectively. Typically when people ask questions about gender issues, they will also ask "parallel" questions about subjects you may not have experienced first hand. Even though some components of the transgender experience may differ from yours, people may still ask questions about sexual identity (or orientation), FTM issues, drag queens, hormones, the model Ru Paul and so forth.

In sharing personal experiences, a common mistake is to "minimize" or "negate" experiences or opinions while communicating with others. You never need apologize for being a transgender person or having different feelings, experiences or viewpoints. In contrast to those who put themselves down, there are people who have monster-egos. This type of individual continually interrupts and dominates conversations by talking solely of themselves. They leave no room for others to ask questions or make observations about the topic at hand.

When "educating" about transgender issues, it is possible to "frame" your words and phrases so that dialogue with others serves you. Reduce the possibility of alienating or prejudicing others by "de-sensationalizing" your vocabulary. Phrases such as gender problem, gender crisis, drag queen and sex change lend a negative portray to gender issues. Less alienating and more attractive phrases include (trans)gender issues, gender identity issues, transgender needs, living in role.

Sound Bites

In counselling, I encourage clients to develop easily memorized educational phrases which reflect basic information about gender issues and their personal experiences. For example, a crossdresser in disclosing their status might simply say, "I'm a crossdresser." When questioned for further information, or when choosing to offer such, the individual might additionally say, "I do this becomes it fulfils my inner need to explore opposite gender feelings and experiences," or, "I do this for a sense of emotional release." Creating short, educational sound bites that put a positive spin on your life experience and needs. Sound bites can also be fun as well as provide a refreshing escape from overused clichés, such as "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body."

Levels of Disclosure

Not everyone you disclose your crossdressing needs or transgender identity to is going to be interested in hearing "how your first experiences involved wearing on your mother's pantyhose," or "how your siblings tormented you by forcing you to wear opposite-gender clothes." In addition, most people have short attention spans, so learning about the intricate details of your transgender experiences may not hold much meaning. Briefly disclosing your transgender status and adding in a couple of educational sound-bites will satisfy most people's curiosity or resolve difficult situations.

When disclosing, remember to only disclose your transgender status if you feel it will add quality to a relationship or provide resolution to difficult circumstances created by your having special needs.

Gianna E. Israel Gender Library